Posts tagged Relationships
Lumina Psychometric Tool

During the summer of 2016, I trained to become a Practitioner of the Lumina Psychometric tool. A CEO has recently used the tool as part of a recruitment process and has been suitably impressed at how it helped him to make a better-informed appointment. Based on the ‘Big 5’ and the best of ‘Jung’, the Lumina tool is unique because it avoids stereotyping whilst communicating personal preferences using memorable colours. It is excellent for gaining an insight into how one might work effectively with others. Think Myers Briggs plus!

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Borderline Personality Disorder

Before I get to the text about the main subject of this missive, a relatively new term emerged to the public this week. The term is ‘callous unemotional traits’. This is the term that psychiatrists give to a set of symptoms that they see in some children – children who go on to be over-represented in prison populations and sometimes, in extreme cases, become what we call ‘psychopaths’.

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Chronic Embitterment

Some of you will have heard me speak on the topic of chronic embitterment. Embitterment is an emotion encompassing persistent feelings of being let down, insulted, being a loser and being revengeful but helpless (Linden, M 2003).  I am seeing more and more aspects of chronic embitterment surfacing in organisations. It is often played out as a reaction to bullying, harassment or breaches of equality. Embitterment usually stems from a series of events rather than a one-off isolated event as originally thought in early research.

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Lifelong learning

Lifelong learning

I am now in my final stages of completing my MSc in Business Psychology. It has been and still is a fascinating experience. I thought I was well versed in the understanding of individuals, teams, conflict and organisations but I have learnt so much more. Much, much more! I am very grateful to my colleague Paul Chudleigh for introducing me to the world of both Business Psychology and Neuroscience.

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Getting what you want

Much of my time is spent negotiating – mostly on behalf of others. For many of today’s organisations there are flatter structures and a continual drive for efficiency. Part of the impact of this is the requirement to negotiate with colleagues in order to get things done. We negotiate a great deal. More than we realise. Sometimes it goes smoothly, sometimes it seems difficult. We all have different styles.

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Clive outside work

I hope you are enjoying the late summer!

A different theme to today’s missive. First, as regular readers will know, in a bid to achieve a better sense of work-life balance, I joined a function band just over 12 months ago. Some of my evenings and weekends are taken up playing bass guitar at different events. Now then, planning for the Christmas party season is well underway. A number of readers have asked whether our band could play at their corporate Christmas function

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Forgiveness

In the last month I have listened to two particularly riveting interviews on BBC’s Today Programme. Both centre on the theme of forgiveness, although this was not the purpose necessarily. In the first, Anthony Ray Hinton spoke of forgiving the Police officers who fabricated the evidence that subsequently led to him spending almost 30 years on death row. Now released, during the interview he spoke of how life had changed since he was incarcerated

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Storytelling – issues that cut deep

Here is the second missive in my series about storytelling.

But, before you get there, four links that might be of interest:

Many have been asking about the band I play in. My weekends are busy playing at corporate events, weddings and private parties. It is really helping my work-life balance. Here is a link to the website with some music tracks you can listen to: www.groovemajors.co.uk

Leading mediator punches boyfriend

Clive as Coach

Preorder your copy of my latest book, ‘How to Master Employment and Workplace Mediation’ published by Bloomsbury here

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Letter from America

One of my childhood memories is waking up on a Sunday morning, and coming downstairs to a family breakfast. I am the youngest of five children and we always had a large breakfast before going off to church where my father was a minister. To complement the delight of our tasty cooked breakfast, my Dad always had Radio 4 on in the background. The programme I remember vividly is Alistair Cooke’s letter from America.

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Take 5 minutes

At funerals, we tend to hear about how great people were. It is unfortunate that many of us neglect to take a few minutes to stop and tell someone how they are appreciated or write a thank you card after a particular event while they are alive. I received a hand written thank you card the other day after giving a short talk at a community event.

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Difficult behaviours

Competing interests at work will never go away. New research is emerging about colleagues you may come up against in the workplace. The research indications are that people who are commonly associated with office conflict or tension may be categorised across three areas

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Attitude

The theme of attitude has popped up in a number of cases I have mediated recently. The corollary is that it is possible to be good – really good – at ones job but have an attitude that stinks. However, it is likely – more than likely – that you will become unstuck at some point in the future if this is the case. No one wants to work with someone with a bad attitude.

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My learning experience

Last week, you might recall I mentioned that I was about to do something that I haven’t done for years. Well, I did it. Last Friday I assisted one of the ’10-15′ that I referred to in my last missive. It was excellent. This was done as part of my personal development plan (PDP).

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Restorative justice

Almost every week, I see or hear something new that amazes me about the transformational power of mediation. Recently, I read a case study about community mediation that made a real impact on me. This week, I thought I would share it with you. Try and stick with it. It’s not long, just one side of A4.

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Liked, respected or both?

I’ve touched on this theme before.  Two weeks ago a matter came up that I needed some guidance and advice on. Because of the nature of the issue, there were only around a dozen people in the mediation industry that I could think of who could have given me a view.  I decided to call a lawyer, well known in the mediation field.  I have known him for around 6 or 7 years. The reason I approached him was because in all my previous dealings with him, he has struck me as being honest and non-political.

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